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To Sam


Hi Sam I am a 14 year old girl and I recently started going out with a girl. She's so nice and I really like her, but I've never dated anyone before and I'm kind of scared. Also, she is my best friend and I'm scared that I might do something wrong and ruin that. I want to tell her how I feel and maybe even try to go back to being friends before this gets out of hand, but I find it really hard to talk to people anyway-I get nervous and just feel awkward whatever I do, so I'm worried that I'll say something wrong and make her hate me. I don't want to upset her but I'm just not ready to be in a relationship yet. How can I know when it's the right time to talk about this and what can I say?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Being in your first relationship can be a scary and difficult experience. You might have lots of new feelings to manage and thinking about someone else as well as yourself can feel like a big change. Communication is a very important part of any healthy relationship and being able to talk honestly to your partner is something that can be developed as you learn to trust each other.

When a friendship develops into a relationship, it can feel even more difficult because it could change an important friendship. Again, feeling able to be honest is one way to make sure that both people in the relationship can be clear about what you want and hope for from each other.

There are no rules about what is right and wrong in a relationship. Perhaps one of the exciting things about being together could be finding out what you both want and working out the right times for you to talk together.

There is always a ChildLine counsellor ready to listen and support you if you would like to talk more about this. You might also find it useful to have a look around our Relationships page.

Take care,


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