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Hi there,
Thanks for your letter. Im really glad that you took the time to write to me for some advice.
I can hear that there are a few things going on for you at the moment in relation to your boyfriend. But first Id like to jump straight to answering your main questions.
In the UK the law says that the age of consent for sex is 16 for everyone. This law is not there to prosecute or punish young people who have sex, rather, the law is trying to protect young people from those much older than them. If you are under 16 and decide to have sex its highly unlikely that you will get into trouble as long as both partners consent to have sex and there is not a large age difference between you. 'Consent' means both people want to have sex and nobody is forced or pressured into it.
Lots of young people write to me with questions about having sex. It's very normal for young people to experiment with sexual activities. The most important point is that both partners feel comfortable and happy in doing so. Nobody should ever be allowed to make anybody do something that they do not want to do. Its important to think about how it might feel for you if you did become sexually active as well as how it might change your relationship.
I can hear that you and your boyfriend mean a lot to each other and it sounds like you really want to make sure that the both of you dont get into any trouble. It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into this decision which is a sign of great maturity. Well done!
Having sex for the first time is a big decision, so it would be good to get as much advice as possible first. We have Sex and relationships page which you might find helpful. If you and your boyfriend do decide that you are ready to have sex, remember it' really important to keep safe. Contraception helps protect people from getting pregnant or getting an infection when they have sex. The Brook website has loads of really good information about sex, keeping safe from pregnancy and infections.
If you feel that you would like some more advice or support with this issue you could always take a look at the ChildLine message boards to see what other young people say about similar issues. You can also speak to a ChildLine counsellor anytime you need to.
I hope you found this letter helpful.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.