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Getting over crushes

Hi Sam, For about a year now I have had a crush on this boy. There have been moments where we have gotten on really well and have been flirting a lot but nothing's really happened. At first I wanted a relationship but then I started hearing rumours that he was flirting with other girls too. I thought I could ignore this as it was probably just a rumour and I believed he actually liked me. However, recently he has started flirting with my sister and paying no attention to me so I have decided that I've had enough and need to move on before I get hurt. I've been through this before with my previous crush and discovered she liked him too when I overheard her talking to my mum about asking him out. Even though they didn't work out in the end, it still hurt to see my sister with him and I can tell its going to happen again so I want to move on before its too late. How can I get over him and how can I stop the same thing happening again?? Thanks.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Relationships and crushes can feel really confusing. It can be hard to work out if someone feels the same way about you as you do about them, and this is natural.

Having a crush can mean that there are strong feelings involved and can leave you wanting to emotionally protect yourself from hurt or rejection. There can also be frustration when you see somebody you like flirting with somebody else or embarrassment if other people are getting involved and you are hearing rumours.

We can’t change how people feel when they are attracted to someone else. All we can do is think about how we respond and take care of ourselves if we do have our feelings hurt.

When you know for sure that a relationship is not possible, you can begin thinking about how to move on and work through these feelings. It's also important to remember that a crush is a very normal thing, and it may be a good idea to think about the crush and what it was that attracted you to them so that you know the qualities you like and you can look for these in another person.

There is no right or wrong way to move forward and unfortunately there is no set amount of time to move past these feelings. Giving yourself time away from your crush is really important, and during this process you can think about spending time with friends, talking your feelings through and doing the things that make you feel happy and good about yourself. While you are doing this, more time will go by and you may find that the feelings begin to change.

There is always time to find a relationship that feels right for you. And along the way if you need to talk or get some more support you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor who can help you with this. Or you can take a look at our message boards where other people share their experiences.

Take care,

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