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To Sam

getting over a lover

i am 15 years old and deepely in love.

i am just finding it so hard to get over my ex lover and i  was completing infactuaed with him and i am crying everyday and every time i think about him i burst into tears and i am an emotional wreck and feel like my life can not go on without him, i had so strong feeling for him that i through we were going to get married and spend the rest of our life togther and he just dumped he for my friend and iknow she is so much pretty and i just cant believe that i will never get him back


Ask Sam


Hi there,

I can see how upset you’re feeling. It sounds like it's been really difficult to deal with the breakup and you still have very strong feelings for your ex-boyfriend.

It can be upsetting if you’re not the one that made the decision to end the relationship.  Often it takes time to get over what has happened. You’re finding it hard to stop thinking about him and maybe it feels impossible right now to think about the future without him.

It might be helpful to start to think of ways to move on with your life without spending even more time and emotions on what happened. Different things work for different people. It could be that spending time with friends or doing things that you usually enjoy could help. Friends can be really important at times like this. Some people find it helpful to write down how they’re feeling. Trying hard to focus on something you enjoy seems like a good idea.

You know better than anyone else what your relationship was like. But at some point you might feel like finding ways to get through this is better than either of you staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons.

Sometimes it can be hard to keep your mind off things when you spend a lot of time alone. It’s really important that you look after yourself – eating well, resting and spending time with people that you’re close to.

Lots of young people have gone through similar experiences to you so it could be helpful to look at the message boards for support. Lots of young people share their feelings there, and you could even post your own thread.

Talking things through can help with the difficult feelings that you’re having and Childline counsellors are there whenever you need them. You can call on 0800 1111, send an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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