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Asker

To Sam

friendships

im worried i send a photo of myslef to a guy and i was in my underware on facebook my friend went through my messages and saw the photo and im worried shes gonna tell my mum what sound i do and also i really fancy a guy and he only want to be friends with benifits beacause he lives far away but every realonship ive had is with a guy online and ive never met them and i know thats bad i really want to change but my past keeps following me and  the two people i triead to talk to have there own issueses they cut so there no help.sometimes i feel as if ive got to the point where i might ive always been slef concouis that why i send those pictures beacause im afarid any guy would leave me if i didnt beacause im nothing speacail you know.
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there

It’s good to hear from you and I am glad you’ve got in touch.

You’ve done really well to express your feelings to me. From what you’ve said it sounds like you have some really strong feelings for this guy online. I want to be honest with you and let you know that I am concerned for you. But I am relieved to hear you say that you know things about what he wants are “bad”. It sounds like you feel really stuck at the moment.

Often it can seem like we know people online really well but it can be difficult to be sure. We only ever know what people tell us and many young people have found out that often this has not been the truth. Sometimes it can be dangerous when people pretend to be different from who they really are. Think You Know is a really good website with lots of information about online safety and how things can go wrong. It tells you how to be safe by doing things like not sharing identifying information about yourself online. Identifying information is anything which someone might be able to use to find out personal things about you, like where you live.

From what you’ve said, it sounds like you’re really worried about your friend telling your mum. You don’t mention how you and your mum get along and it might be a good idea to have a think about how you might want to react if this happens.

If you were sure your friend was going to tell your mum, it might be a good idea to tell your mum yourself. Maybe telling her yourself and asking for her support might be better than your friend telling her.

Feeling self-conscious and having low self-esteem can be very difficult. Sometimes it can take a while for these things to change but it is really important to work on them safely. It might be a good idea for you to look at our page on building confidence and self-esteem. Lots of young people who are going through similar issues support each other on our message boards, so you may find it useful to look at the boards too. 

It sounds like you’d really like some support from your friend but they have a lot of their own worries. You’ve done really well to get in touch and I can hear how much you want to some support.

I can also hear how much is going on for you at the moment and if you wanted to talk things over more you can get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor. Our counsellors  can talk over your feelings with you. ChildLine counsellors don’t judge and won’t tell anyone else about what you talk about.

You can get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor through the TALK section of the website. You can email them or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. Or you can call them free on 0800 1111 without it showing up on any bills.

Take care

Sam 

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