Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Friendships and depression

Hey whoever's reading this, I don't normally do things like this and i feel like i shouldn't be wasting peoples time with my stupid problems. My friends say their worried about me, I've lost a lot of friends to my depression but i don't want to talk to my parents about it as i doubt they would understand. I just don't know what to do, i don't want to annoy anyone or waste anyone's time. What should i do?

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Many people with depression can find it hard to talk about how they’re feeling. Depression can sometimes make you feel like you are not worth any help or that you don't want to burden others with your feelings, but it’s important to remember this isn’t true. One of the most important steps towards getting help with depression is accepting that it's okay to reach out for support and that you’re worth helping. Building confidence and self-esteem can also help with making and keeping friends.

Talking about depression can be hard. I get lots of letters from people who say they don't feel like they can talk to someone because they think other people won't understand. This is sometimes true - depression is difficult for someone else to understand if they haven't gone through it. This means you may need to help them understand as best you can. It might take some time before the people around you understand how difficult day to day life is with depression, but by being honest about your feelings you can help them to help you.

Friends should be there for you no matter what. They can't take away your depression and they can't fix everything - but they can perhaps do little things to help. It's important that you tell your friends how they can help you. They might worry they can't do enough to help, so if you can tell them the small things that make your day easier.

If you’re unsure how to start talking about depression, a good place to start is by describing your feelings and day to day life in a diary or mood journal. Your diary can then be something to help you talk about what things are like for you.

Finding confidence in yourself will also make it easier to look for support. You are not wasting people's time and you are worth supporting. Building your self-esteem makes it easier to make friends. The more you value yourself, the easier it is to open up to people. Building confidence in yourself takes time so won't happen straight away, but a good first step might be to talk to one of our counsellors.

Thanks for sending me this letter.

Take care.

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter