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friends

i have a friend she is my bff but she swears a lot and swears at me and pushes me around though i sill hang out with her , i dont know what to do
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi,

Thank you for your letter.

I’m glad you took the time to write in as I think that other young people could be going through similar things and hearing about your experience could really help them too. 

You explained that your friend swears a lot and pushes you around. It isn’t alright for her to do this and you have the right to ask her to stop or to get help from someone to make it stop. Nobody has the right to push anyone around or to treat them in the way that you describe. 

Talking to your friend could help her understand how it leaves you feeling when she behaves in this way. It could help to think about how she might react if you asked her to stop doing it. If you don’t think she’d listen, it’s okay to ask for somebody else to help with the situation. If it’s happening at school, perhaps you could ask a teacher you trust. If it’s happening outside of school time, maybe the two of you could sit down with an adult and talk it through. It’s important that your friend understands that she can’t carry on doing this. It could also be helpful to look at the relationship more closely and think about (or write down) both the positives and the negatives. This might help you to understand any confusion you have about the relationship with your friend.

This sounds like a tough thing for you to be going through so it’s important to make sure you have some support. Have a think about what you need and who can be there for you. If you want to have a chat about it, how about speaking to a ChildLine counsellor? They are there to help you think about what you’d like to do to help improve your situation. You could talk to them about the good and bad things about the relationship on your list.

It’s really good that you got in touch and I hope that you get the support you need at this difficult time.

Take care,

Sam

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