Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Friends parents

I don't know what to say!
Hi. Well this is kind of a big deal to me. Back about 9 months ago I wrote my friend this letter (we are both girls). She was having trouble with a boy who cheated on his girlfriend with her and then the girlfriend found out. This is high school so lots of drama. Basically in the letter I wrote to her I reassured her that I was there for her and some more stuff like that. So about 4 months pass and her parent find the letter. Them being Christians and all take it the wrong way and accused their daughter and I of being gay. After lots of arguing my friend convinced her parents that she wasn't. They set all these rules up though like no going with me anywhere or not even wearing my clothes if she forgot something for practice or something. Thankfully they lightened up a bit but not much tor at least till they think they found out we were texting. Now I have to talk to her parents again about all this. They need to lighten up their punishment and stop accusing me or her of being something we aren't. I just don't know how to tell them to loosen up. We used to be best friends and still are but if I can't talk to her besides at school for about 30 minutes a school day how will we stay so close???? I just don't want to lose my best friend. We're practically sisters.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It sounds like things have got a bit confused between you, your friend and your friend’s parents. It seems like you wrote a personal letter to your friend letting her know that you are there to support her and this has been seen by your friend’s parents. I can hear the things you wrote in the letter meant a lot to you and your friend - but it sounds like her parents understood it differently.

It can be really difficult when people not involved in a friendship or situation read something personal about it as they may not fully understand what the person writing the letter means. This can lead to people guessing what things mean and things can get confusing for everyone involved.

You tell me that your friend's parents put a lot of rules in place so you couldn’t see each other. It sounds like that made it hard for the two of you be honest about your friendship. I can hear that you are worried about the two of you growing apart. It might be a good idea to talk to your friend about your worries and then you can decide how things are going to be together.

You said you are also going to talk to your friend’s parents again. I’m wondering how you would feel about doing that together. Then you can all decide how you want things to be. It might also give you and your friend the chance to explain how important your friendship is.

It can sometimes be hard to know what to do and you might find it useful to have a look at the ChildLine message boards where you can get advice and support from other young people going through similar things.

You can always talk more about this with a ChildLine counsellor. You can call for free on 0800 1111 or log in for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care.


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