Ask Sam letter


To Sam

First Kiss

Hi sam
well ive been going out with my boyfriend for ages but we havent kissed. i really want to and i think he does to but i dont know when it will happen i want it to be soo cause we might end if nothing goes further all i want to do is kiss him. HELP?! 
Ask Sam


Thank you for your message, you have been really brave to write in and share a bit about how things are for you at the moment.

It sounds like you’ve been going out with your boyfriend for some time and would really like to kiss him. I can hear you’re unsure how to make this happen.

You said that you’re worried your relationship might end if nothing goes further. It’s really important to know that there is no right or wrong time for when your first kiss should be. The most important thing is that you’re both feel comfortable and feel ready. Neither of you should feel pressured by the other one to do anything you don’t want to.

Have you thought about trying to talk about how you’re feeling with your boyfriend? It’s natural for feelings to be difficult or a bit scary to talk about but it’s really good to be honest with boyfriends about how you’re feeling and what you’d like to happen. Talking about things will also give your boyfriend a chance to tell you how he feels. If talking face to face seems difficult maybe you could write him a letter or an email.

Maybe you might like to have a look at the ChildLine message boards, it is a place where other young people in similar situations can support one and other.

It is great that you are talking about this and maybe you would like to talk to more with a Childline counsellor. You can phone them free on 0800 11 11 (the call will not appear on the phone bill) or you could log on for a 1-2-1 chat which works like instant messenger.

Take care,



Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter