Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Feeling pressured

There is a boy that i really like and every girl that he has been out with he has had sex with. I know that if i go out with him i will feel pressured about it. I want to wait for the right person, but then i just think well why not, what do i do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. I think you are wise for thinking about what you want to do. Choosing whether to have sex is a really big decision to make. There is a lot to think about, so it’s worth making sure you are ready.

It sounds like you really like this boy but if you go out with him you will feel pressured to have sex. If you want to wait for the right person, then it’s worth doing that. When the time comes to have sex it is important that you feel comfortable around the person and that you can trust them.

This is your choice. No one should pressure you and it might help to avoid any situation where you could feel pressured. Don’t worry about what other girls may have done, just do what you think is right. Having sex can have emotional and physical consequences that are important to think about. There is more information about sex, relationships and contraception in Explore. There is also some good advice on sex and relationships on the NHS website.

If you have further questions after reading the information in the links I've provided, or you want to talk about this or anything else, you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor by calling 0800 1111 or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat which is a bit like MSN.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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