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Feeling bad for breaking up with my boyfriend

hi sam,

a few months ago i got with my boyfriend, i really liked him. he was funny, sweet and shy.

just over a month ago i found out he was messaging other girls to meet up with him, telling them that he was horny and stuff. is it my fault that he felt like he had to get attention from other girls? was i not good enough??

i broke up with him straight away but he has been trying to kiss and cuddle me even if i dont want him to. he tells me “but i still love you and i cant live without you”

am i being crazy for breaking up with him? and should i forgive him and give him snother chance?

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Sam

Hi there,

When making a big decision like ending a relationship it's natural to question whether you made the right choice. Strong feelings can affect how you think about a situation. Taking a step back and looking at what led you to make that decision is a good way to help you work out if it's still the right one for you.

Break-ups come with a lot of emotions on both sides. It's not always easy to end a relationship. Even if you don't want to be with someone anymore, you don't usually want to hurt them. When someone has hurt you in the relationship, such as by cheating, then breaking up may not have been what you wanted to do. This can make it difficult to let go, even when the relationship is over.

It's not okay for someone to kiss or cuddle you when you have made it clear you don't want them to. Your ex-boyfriend's feelings don't change anything when it comes to whether it's okay to touch you. If he carries on doing this when you have told him not to, it would be okay to tell someone else about it. We’ve got advice on healthy and unhealthy relationships, and our counsellors are always here for you if you’re worried your relationship is unhealthy.

When looking at whether a decision was the right one, it can be useful to go back and look at the reasons you made that choice to begin with. Try writing down all the things your boyfriend did and how they made you feel. After doing this try to think about what you would want from the relationship and whether or not what happened will still affect how things are between you.

I hope that this has helped you to find new ways to think about what you want next. If you'd like to talk to a counsellor about what your options are, they are always here for you.

Take care.

Sam

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