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Falling in love with my bestfriend

Okay, we'll I'm a girl and my bestfriends a boy a I've known him about 10 months now and I wouldn't say we were really really close but we are close enough, there have been times in the past when it seemed like there was something between us like that way he hugged me from behind and hugged me normally and said things like I could live like this forever but a few weeks ago he got a new girlfriend and I don't know what to do because I really like them but they are so happy together and I don't want to tell them and ruin their relationship as well as mine and his friendship!
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Sam

Hi there

Thanks for your letter and telling me about the situation with you and your best friend.  Relationships and friendship can sometimes be confusing and when they change we can find it hard to understand how we feel. It seems like a strong bond has grown between the two of you over the last 10 months.

It can be really tough when we are so close to someone and then a new person comes along and things start to change. It can also be difficult to see someone we care about enjoying the company of someone else too.  I’m wondering if it’s because of his new relationship that you have now really started to work out how you would like things to be between you and him.

I think you are so wise to think how this situation might affect everyone. I can tell that you don’t want your friendship or the new relationship to suffer. One idea might be to wait to see how things do work out between them. That might also give you more time to be sure about what you want.

If you feel unable to do that and really want him to know your feelings, it might help to consider how you think it will go if you talk to him about this and ask yourself some questions like whether you think he feels the same way? How you would feel if you both wanted different things? And whether you could still be friends with him if he was going to stay in a relationship with his girlfriend? I know that good friends are really important.

This is really important to you and if it feels like a really big decision to make alone, why not speak to a ChildLine counsellor to help you explore your situation some more? You could do this by ringing ChildLine for free on 0800 1111 or by having a 1-2-1 chat online. You might also find it helpful to post on the relationships message board or read what other young people have done in similar situations.

Take care and good luck,

Sam

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