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Effects of rape

​hello i was raped when i was 9 years old by a girl who was 13 at the time - im a 14 year old boy and i sometimes feel i have the urge to have sex with any good looking male from ages 8 to 30 age i feel like im an offender and a manipulator i have been controlling the urge and its successful i just wonder am i a pysco or is this aftermath of sexual assault

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Sam

Hi there,

Being raped or sexually assaulted can have long lasting effects. Some thoughts and feelings may not appear for a while afterwards. These feelings might stop after a while or can come back when triggered by other things. It’s always important to get as much help and support as you can after being sexually assaulted.

Everyone reacts differently to sexual assault. Some people may have stronger feelings about sex but others may be put off and want nothing to do with it.  It can change how you feel about different genders and being intimate with them as well.

It’s important to remember that what happened isn’t your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Telling someone how you feel is always okay and can be the first step to getting help. Talking about what happened can be very difficult so it’s important to choose the right person to talk to. It’s never too late to tell someone and that talking about what happened can help you move forward.

Sometimes people who have been sexually abused have feelings about sex that might be harmful for them or others. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with people of the same gender as you, but it’s important to remember the law about how old someone has to be. It’s against the law to have sex with anyone under 16 – even if you're under 16 yourself. The law is even stricter about having sex with someone who is under 13.

If you're having thoughts about having sex with people much younger or older than you, you should speak up about it so that you can get some help and support. You haven’t done anything wrong and it’s okay to talk about these feelings – they’re not your fault. With some help you can begin to put what happened behind you and have healthy relationships in the future.

Thank you for having the courage to tell me about this. And remember our counsellors are always here for you if you need to talk.

Take care,

Sam

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