Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Don't want her to get hurt

Recently I discovered one of my good friends (Liley) loves another one of my Best Friends (Hollie) but I know that Hollie does not like Liley that way at all and I really do not want Liley to be hurt like that again because she has gone through so much already. Hollie does not know that Liley likes her though and I think it would destroy their friendship if Hollie found out... I really don't want either of my friends to get hurt and I cannot talk to a teacher because it will get out about Liley and Lesbians aren't really excepted at my school by the students, as is it as most schools.
(BTW:These aren't Their real names) 
Ask Sam


Hello there,

Thank you for writing to me. I can hear that you are feeling worried about your friends right now so I’m glad you’ve asked for some support.

At the moment it seems like Hollie doesn’t know much about the way Liley feels about her and I get the sense you are nervous about her finding out in case it affects their friendship.

It sounds like this is a very difficult situation for you. From what you have said, Liley and Hollie both tell you things that they maybe don’t share with other people. It sounds like they trust you a lot and you are good friends with each of them. At the same time, it seems like it can be quite stressful and overwhelming to feel like you are the only one that knows the whole picture. 

It is important to remember that while you really want to support your friends, you are not responsible for their decisions and you need to make time to look after yourself too. I think that it is important that Liley makes the final decision about whether she wants to talk to Hollie or tell other people about her feelings. Letting her know that you care about her and are there to listen to her whatever she chooses would be a really good way to help.

No one ever has the right to bully or treat someone differently because of their sexuality but I can hear that you don’t think everyone at your school will accept that. Maybe you could let Liley know that the counsellors at ChildLine are here to support her if she ever wants to talk, either over the phone, by email or through a 1-2-1 chat. You could both look at the discussions other young people are having about Sexuality on the message boards. You might also find it helpful to have a look at the Young Stonewall website which offers support for issues around being lesbian, gay or bisexual.

Take care,


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