Ask Sam letter


To Sam

dont hate....

well this is a long story but i need to tell someone,, well i have left school nearly 2years now. i got myself in to a lot of trouble in school which go a bit out of hand. but i would always get introuble with this same teacher i never like him we was always shouting at eachother but we spent alot of time together,so we started to talk abit more and got to know eachother, so by then i would say i had a crush on him which is always the case in schools teens likeing the teachers, so i didnt tell anyone i was only 15 and he was a teacher he wasnt the in teacher at school like no really liked him but i did. i use to spend alot of time with him because of getting into trouble and my friends always use to say he fancy you!? but he has said to me i do think about you sometimes in bed like if your okay! and also if i was talking to a boy and would hug me he would tell them to get off of me! it's like why would he care he is married with kids... i have now lefted school nearly 2 year now and i'm 17 and i stiil like him and think about him. so how can it be a crush it cant be. i mean i have had boyfriends but i always think how it would be if i was with him i dont know anymore i still see him around sometimes and i just want to tell him it aint a teen crush it cant be....
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It's good that you have felt able to write about what's been going on for you over the last few years. I can hear having these feelings has been confusing for you, because he was your teacher. Having feelings for a teacher is something that can happen for lots of young people. It’s okay to have a crush – it's hard to control how you feel.

It is important to remember that for a teacher or young person to act on those feelings wouldn’t be okay and would get the teacher into trouble. Anyone who is a teacher knows that it is illegal to have a teacher/student relationship – even if their students are over the age of 16.

That might be difficult to hear, especially as you say that you still have feelings for him that are more than a teenage crush.

You mentioned that sometimes the teacher said he worried about whether you were okay and sometimes told boys to get off you. I wonder if this was him showing concern for you in his role as your teacher. Teachers do sometimes worry about their students and care about them in their professional role as teachers.

You want to talk to the teacher and tell them how you are feeling now that you are 17 and have left school.  Often teachers want to try and keep their relationships professional. Sometimes teachers will welcome hearing from ex-students, but it’s unusual for any kind of relationship to keep going. You've also mentioned that he is married with kids and I'm wondering what you think about this.

It sounds like a complex situation and you could contact ChildLine to talk this through with a counsellor. You can call free on 0800 1111, send us an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. This could help you start thinking about whether or not it would be a good idea to talk to the teacher. Talking to someone at ChildLine is confidential and it would give you a space to think about your feelings and what you could do. A ChildLine counsellor would never judge you or tell you what to do.

You could also look at our message boards to see what other young people who are going through something similar have to say about this.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter