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To Sam

do i have to be transgender to want to do drag

Hello Sam,

i am a pansexual female and i'm really into drag. I don't believe my mum will except it, as she is a strong christian, but aside from that, i am wondering if i have to be a trans female into male, if i want to drag. i am really confused and i don't know weather people would except me for being a female and into drag. whats your oppinions and i want to know if i'd be ok and weather i should listen to my mums oppinions.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

You can define yourself in any way that you feel comfortable. There are no rules about what gender you have to be to dress and act the way you want. Some people might want to say that men shouldn't wear skirts or women shouldn't wear trousers. Those are other people's opinions and definitions. If you decide for yourself what you want to be, then you can do almost anything you want. This means that if you want to dress in drag as a woman, you can.

Drag usually means wearing clothes of the opposite sex. It’s most commonly men dressed as women, though there are women dressed as men. Drag has a whole culture around it which means it's more than just dressing differently. Some people might describe it as a way of challenging gender stereotypes. Anyone can do that, no matter what their gender is.

There will probably be people who think you have to be male to be a drag queen. No matter what you do in life, there will usually be people who see things differently. If you were to try and live like everyone else wants you to, you would never stop trying to please everybody because there are too many different opinions. In the end, you have to only be true to yourself and follow what you want to do.

You should dress how you want to, express yourself in whichever you want and be confident in who you are. Saying those things is easy but living them is harder and it might take time and many small steps to get the courage to live this way.

When talking to your mum, perhaps you can share the things you admire about people who do drag, so that she might begin to understand your feelings about it. Things that are not familiar can put people off at first, but if you’re open and honest with your mum about why you think drag is important, perhaps she might begin to understand. I can't promise your mum or everyone else around you is going to accept it, but if you accept yourself then what other people think becomes less important.

Thanks for sharing, and remember our counsellors are always here if you want to talk.

Take care,


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