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depression

two of my friends have depression. they both cut a lot and keep talking about suicide. one of them doesnt do it as much. the other one started cutting her neck and so me and a couple of other friends told the school, which she hated us for but she doesnt anymore. She did get help about twice but nothing has happened since. My other friend has recently become depressed again and although she has thrown her blade away, she just confessed she wants to cut again. She had a counciller before but she won't have one again, she says it makes her feel worse. I don't know what I should do now.
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Sam

Hi there,

It is really good to hear from you. I can see from what you have written that you care a lot about your friends and want to help them, although you mention that sometimes you don’t know what to do next.That shows what a big responsibility you feel that you have on your shoulders.

I think that you and your friends did a really brave thing to talk to the school about what was happening for your friend. I can see that at first your friend was not happy about you taking action and you say “she hated us”. Now things have changed and she doesn’t hate you and after getting help twice nothing has happened since. You should all be really proud of what you did for your friend. I think that telling someone at school was the right thing to do because even though you really care about your friends, you are not responsible for rescuing them from what is happening. Listening and helping people to get support from a trusted adult is a huge way to show that you care.

Another way that you can help people is to encourage them to contact ChildLine. There are several ways that they can do this. There is the helpline they can call for free on 0800 1111, 1-2-1 online chat and if someone is not ready to speak directly to a counsellor (or just prefer to write their thoughts down) they can also send a private email. ChildLine is confidential and counsellors will not tell anyone what a young person has said unless someone wants them to or the young person’s life is in immediate danger. This makes ChildLine a safe place to come to with any thoughts and feelings. If a young person has suicidal thoughts they are welcome to talk that through with a counsellor. There are also ChildLine message boards where young people talk about all sorts of subjects. There is a specific message board where young people have talked about self-harm and are gaining support from each other .  

It is good to know that even though you cannot always change a situation that a friend is in you can still make a big difference by reassuring your friend that you care and that you are there to listen when needed. Listening to a friend may leave you feeling powerless and confused at times and I would like you to know that if you want someone to talk to you are welcome to contact a ChildLine counsellor and talk more about how you are feeling too.

Take care,

Sam

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