Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I'm only 13 and i recently kissed this boy that i have been going out with for a couple of months. I'm really confused because i don't think im ready for a relationship like that. Now i want to break up with the boy but i dont know how. I also dont know how or if i should tell my mum that i kissed him. By the way, the boys the same age as me.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message.

It sounds like kissing this boy has made it difficult to know how you feel at the moment and that perhaps it was a bit more than you felt ready for.

It’s OK to not want to be in a relationship if you don’t feel ready. There’s no right or wrong time to start going out with people, you’ll know when you want to because your feelings will tell you.

Talking to parents or an adult you trust can be a great way to learn more about relationships. When deciding whether to tell your mum it can be helpful to think about why you do and don't want to tell her, and what you are hoping she will say. For example, do you want her to tell you what to do, give you ideas on how to break up, support you with how you are feelling, or are you worried that she'll be shocked or upset and ban you from going out with anyone else?

Breaking up with someone is often difficult, but it can be important to do so in person whenever possible. Breaking up by text or email sometimes makes things harder later on. Make sure you think about any questions you want to ask him or things you want to say beforehand so that you can say everything you want to say at the time, otherwise you might end up having to talk to him again and again, which makes the whole thing longer.

There is more information about Relationships and breaking up in Explore. You might find it helpful to look at the ChildLine message boards to see what other young people are saying. You can even post a thread to get advice if you like.

ChildLine is here for you if you wanted to talk about what you plan to do and what you want to say – you can e-mail, have a 1-2-1- chat online or call us on 0800 1111 to talk to a counsellor.

Take care,


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