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competing! :(

Hi!,

I have two great friends! but they sort of compete against which one is the better friend for me i think they are both great! i tell them that but they still compete! i dont think they like each other! please help me!

Ask Sam

Sam

Hello there,

Thank you for your letter.

It’s good to hear that you’ve got two great friends. It sounds like they both care about you a lot, but I can hear it’s difficult for you when they compete with each other over your friendship.

You’ve said that you don’t think your friends like each other. It might be that they are too different to be able to get on at the moment, or that they both feel a bit jealous or insecure about the other one’s relationship with you.

It sounds like they’re both really important to you and you’ve made sure that they know that. I can imagine it’s frustrating for you that this still hasn’t changed the way they are with each other. It might be helpful for you to let them know how this situation is affecting you and how you feel when they compete with each other. If it is too hard for them to spend time with you together, then you might need to find a way of spending some quality time with each of them on their own. Sometimes it’s impossible to please everyone in a situation like this. As long as you are being respectful of each of your friends, and treating them in a way that makes them feel valued, then they can’t ask for anything more.

You might find it useful to read more about Friendships in Explore, or to have a look on the Friends message board to see what issues other young people are discussing.

If you feel like talking a bit more about how this is making you feel, one of ChildLine’s counsellors would be happy to talk to you about this. You can give them a call on 0800 1111 or sign up and have a 1-2-1 chat or send an email.

Take care,

Sam

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