Hi there
Its really good to hear from you.
Thanks for explaining how youre feeling at the moment. Its really positive to hear that you want to be open about your sexuality. Sometimes feeling that you have to keep something about yourself hidden can be really hard, like carrying a heavy weight around with you all the time.
I did notice that in your letter you said that you feel like you have to come out now and Im just wondering if youre feeling under pressure to tell others? It might be that because people are already saying that youre gay, you almost feel they have a right to know. The most important thing is for you to only share things about yourself because you want to and because you feel ready to do so.
Coming out to other people can send a really positive message that you know that being gay is OK. When you are considering coming out, it can be helpful to think about who you want to tell first and what you want them to understand. It might be a good idea to start by talking to someone who you really trust and who you think will be supportive. Having a positive first experience of coming out will hopefully give you the confidence to tell other people when you feel ready. Theres some helpful information about coming out on the sexuality pages in Explore.
Unfortunately, sometimes people will react negatively to finding out someone is gay because they dont understand it or are scared by it. That can be really unhelpful and upsetting so its important that you feel ready to hear less helpful responses before you start to come out. Youve said that people are calling you gay at school. Using the word gay as an insult is bullying, and its not OK. If you feel youre being bullied, then its important to tell a teacher or an adult at home, because it shouldnt be happening. Although you absolutely have the right to be yourself, its worth thinking about whether the people calling you gay will react helpfully if you come out to everyone at school.
You could talk more about this with a ChildLine counsellor by calling free on 0800 1111, or have a 1-2-1 chat online. You might also really benefit from having a look at the sexuality thread on the ChildLine message boards where you could learn some ideas from other young people who have been in a similar situation.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
