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To Sam

Can we ever be friends again?

Hi Sam,

I have a problem which can't really be solved I am just looking for some advice.
Just under two years ago my best friend and I had a few arguements: she acted differently when we were with other people and she lied to me. I stopped talking to her and it meant I had to make a new circle of friends.

Even though I have lovely friends I just really miss her. She also made new friends and it looks like she has moved on. Whenever we see each other she just says 'hello' but I would love to be friends again.

Any advice?

Thank you so much, have a good day!

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me about missing your friendship with your ex-best friend. You explained the situation really well and were very honest about how you felt.

When friends tell us lies and their behaviour towards us changes, it’s not unusual to begin to question the friendship. It is understandable that you were not happy with the situation with your best friend and decided to end the relationship with her. You mentioned having a few arguments with your friend at the time but you didn’t say if you had asked her about the reasons why her behaviour had changed.

It seems like upon reflection you realise that the friendship was important to you and maybe that is something you could explore with your ex-best friend as it may help you to better understand what happened. It may be a good idea to be honest with her about how you felt at the time you stopped talking and explain how upset you were with her behaviour in front of others. You could go on to explain how you miss having her as a close friend and talk about how you could begin to build a mutually respectful relationship again.

You may also need to consider how you would feel if your friend has ‘moved on’ and does not want to restart your friendship. Rejection can be difficult to deal with and it may be that you need to really think about the pros and cons of getting your friendship with this girl back on track.

It can help to read about what other young people have done in a similar situation.  Have a look at the Friends message board. You could also talk through the situation with a ChildLine counsellor by calling 0800 1111 or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat.

You did really well getting in touch with me to talk about how you feel.

Take care,


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