Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi SAM, my name is **** and I have a massive problem with some boys. My ex, lets call him Danny, and another boy, lets call him Rory, are starting to confuse me. So I broke up with Danny because we kept getting into arguments and I didn't think it was healthy and sometimes he didn't respect me. We have been broken up for about 3 months now, and he told me that he was depressed over some of the summer holidays, and today he said maybe we should get back together in a response to something my friend said. It wasn't anything to commit to, he just said it as a response. However, I think I want to get back together with him but then Rory comes into it. Rory is really sweet and funny and kind and I think I like him, but then I think of Danny and it confuses me so much. I don't know what to do for the best, please help me.

thanks, ****

P.S I did not use the boys real names in this

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Relationships can be complicated. But it’s always a good idea to take time for ourselves to think about what we're looking for and how these relationships make us feel.

I can hear that you’re feeling confused about what the best decision would be – both for these two boys and for you as a person.

Having good communication and feeling respected by someone are some of the key qualities in any healthy relationship. It's up to you to decide what will make you happy and what you are willing to accept, or not accept.

Even when your ex has a change of heart about breaking up, it’s always your decision about what you'd like to do. Whatever you decide, it’s important that you make these decisions when you personally feel ready. You shouldn’t feel pressured by what other people want. Because in the end it's about what works best you.

If you'd like more advice you could take a look at our page on relationships. You could also visit the message boards where you can find other young people who have dealt with situations similar to yours.

You are also welcome to talk to a Childline counsellor by having a 1-2-1 chat or calling us on 0800 1111. The counsellors are here to support you with anything that might be happening.

Take care,​


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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