Ask Sam letter

Hi There,

Thank you for your letter.

It sounds like you care about what is happening and that this is making you feel sad and angry.  It is always good to see the value some people can put on a friendship and what it might mean to them or others to lose that friendship. I’m wondering what it would be like to talk to your friend about what you think has been happening and see what they think about it and to see if they think the same as you. Different people can sometimes view the same situation differently. Looking at ways of being friends together and spending time with each other so that nobody is deliberately left out could all be helpful. Friendships can be difficult and each situation is different, it is normal and natural to be friends with some people more so than others and this can be because of individual difference, such as likes, dislikes, hobbies and interests.

Without knowing what is happening for you within this friendship circle it’s difficult for me to give you specific advice, it’s really positive that you are picking up on the feelings that it is creating for you; feelings like anger and sadness, maybe you could also consider what feelings it may create for others and how they may feel too and with what you then think you can make a choice about what you feel needs to happen between you and your friends.

Here is a useful link from the ChildLine website that talks further about friendships and may support you more with this situation. Another option is to check out the Childline message boards where children and young people support each other on the issues that matter to them, like difficulties with friends.

Remember if you would like to explore these feelings and what is happening for you in more detail, a Childline Counsellor is ready and waiting to offer you the help and support you want and to listen and help you make the choices you feel are right for you at this time, this can be done through a 1-2-1 chat.

Take good care of yourself

Sam