Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

being used and sexually furstrated

hello sam..im only 14 and ive had sex with 5 people and i find that really bad, although each time i didnt really have a choice due to peer pressure, but now ive done it ..i feel imbarrest to say im sexually furstrated, but ive changed ...if i go back to that stage having sex ill get called again a slag, and seem easy and get used, ive been hurt so much and ive really changed, but feel like i need it :( please reply if possible thanks x
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for writing to me, it sounds as though you’re feeling bad about the number of people that you have had sex with and that you feel that some of the people that you have had sex with have used you. It also sounds like people have bullied you by calling you names because of the sexual relationships you’ve had.

It’s never OK for anyone to bully you for any reason. I’m wondering if there is an adult you trust, like a teacher, parent or guardian who you could tell about the bullying.

Whilst the legal age for a young person to have sex is 16, some people do find that they think about and feel ready to have sex at a younger age. If you do decide to have sex with someone again, it’s important that you feel safe and comfortable doing so and that you and the person you choose to do this with both give your consent (permission) for this to happen. The Brook website has lots of information about sex, relationships and how to stay safe.

It sounds as though you’ve been really hurt in the past and perhaps ChildLine could support you with what you’ve experienced. It’s also important that you know that you don’t have to share your sexual experiences with anyone you don’t feel comfortable with or trust. You can talk this through with a ChildLine counsellor by calling 0800 1111 or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. They will listen, not judge and help you get a better understanding of your situation and what you would like to happen.

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter