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To Sam

Bed wetting

Dear Sam,

i am 13 years old and have been a bed wetter since I was 8. The doctors have found nothing wrong with me after doing lots of tests so they recommended wearing a nappy. I get them free on NHS but they feel and look like real nappies. My friends keep on inviting me to sleepovers but I'm to embarrassed to go. I think they might make fun of me if they find out. I'm popular and I fear losing my popularity. What should I do? There starting to get suspicious about why I keep on saying no

Ask Sam


H there,

Most people have accidentally wet the bed at some point, but for some it can happen regularly. It can be a physical or psychological problem, but whatever the reason it’s not something to be ashamed about.

It’s natural to want privacy for medical and personal problems. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep what’s happening between you, your family and your doctor. But this doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.

It could be a good idea to make sure you regularly talk to your doctor to keep them updated with what’s happening. It could also be a good idea to keep a diary to see if there's anything happening to trigger your bed wetting. This would be a really useful thing to be able to show to your doctor.

You can work around what’s happening in a few ways. Firstly you might want to see if your parents/guardians can talk to the parents of your friends, explain what’s happening and ask them to keep it private. This would mean you have an adult at the sleepovers who knows about your problem, in case you need them.

Another thing to consider is you can make sure you undress privately, in the bathroom for example. If you wore pyjama bottoms, they may hide the nappy. You don’t have to give any reason for doing this, other than you prefer to change in private.

ERIC is a children’s bowel and bladder charity, and they've got a section just for teenagers which includes advice and information about bed wetting and a dedicated message board. You might also find our message boards useful as you could find other people going through similar things.

If you'd like to talk this through more you can contact a Childline counsellor - there's always someone ready to talk to you.

Thanks for your letter, take care.


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