Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

There can be times in any friendship where you are faced with situations that mean you have to make hard decisions to help them. This can feel really uncomfortable and unpleasant at the time. Especially when you’re worried about how your friend will react. It may feel like you're breaking their trust or letting them down but actually you are doing the right thing. And it's because you care that you want to help keep your friend safe from harm.

Having a friend who is feeling really distressed and talks about doing something that could put their life at risk, like overdosing can feel really stressful because you can feel a mixture of worry and fear for you friend’s physical safety and their mental state. It's because you respect your friend that you feel this way and all you want is for your friend to be happy and safe.

When somebody is putting themselves at risk, they are often not thinking or feeling how they usually would. Often they need their friends to help them see the way forward because they’re no longer able to make safe choices for themselves. Letting a trusted adult know how they are feeling is the first step towards getting the help they need to cope.

They may seem quite angry to begin with and not see what you did as being supportive. But as time goes by and the more they begin to feel differently, they hopefully will begin to realise that what you did was through kindness and support.

It’s so important that you know that you deserve support too and you don’t have to feel alone. You too could try talking to trusted adults in your life like teachers or young workers, mentors or family members so that they can help and support you to know that you did the right.

You may also like to talk to a counsellor who will always be happy to listen and support you.

Take care,
Sam