Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Asking A guy out

Please Can you help me ? I Love this boy but I'm Not sure he loves me . We have been friends Several Years but I secretly desire him . None of My friends know but I was thinking of telling my Friend Lucy . I want to tell him But I'm afraid everyone will find out and laugh at me . How do I ask him out In a way that will make him say yes?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can be confusing when we start to experience strong feelings like love. You’ve developed strong feelings for a friend but you’re not sure whether he feels the same. It also sounds like as well as worrying about what he might say, you’re worried about what other people’s reactions will be if you come out and tell him how you feel.

You’re not alone with not knowing how to ask someone out. Asking someone out can be really nerve racking. You might be worried about stumbling over your words, being tongue-tied, getting embarrassed or him saying no. So it can be really tricky to find a way to ask someone out that you feel comfortable with and I’m afraid there is no set way to do it that will make him say yes.

However there are some important things to consider. Firstly, take your time. Have a think about the most ideal and comfortable situation for asking him out (if that’s what you decide to do). Perhaps you could think about what place you want to be in. Do you want to ask in school, outside of school, on the phone, or somewhere else? Then perhaps you could practise what you want to say. What could you say about your feelings about him and what you want to happen next? You could try writing things down and saying it out loud to yourself. You could even talk about it with someone else if there's someone you trust. You said you were thinking about telling your friend Lucy about your feelings.  Perhaps she could help you to think these things through. 

ChildLine is also a good place to talk through these ideas and any other worries and thoughts. You could even practise what you might say with a counsellor.

Take care,

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