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To Sam

are we still bestfriends?

Last year my best friend got really close to this other girl that I didn't really lie.So I tried to be friends with her but it seemed like she was only pretending to be friend, and whenever the 3 of us hangout, its like I'm just the third wheel and I'm invisible to them. Me and my other friends talked to my best friend about it and she understood.But now I get really paranoid when she hangs out with the other girl and I'm scared that she prefers her to me and that I'm not a good enough friend.the other girl keeps calling my best friend her best friend. don't know what to do or think are we still best friends?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Friendships can get tricky when there’s a few people involved. It can feel like there’s pressure to like everyone in the group. You might think a lot about who is speaking to who. It might even make you very anxious and worried that people are spending more time with each other than with you.

Friendships are natural things and the best ones usually just happen on their own without you needing to do very much. It can be tempting to try really hard to make someone a best friend, but often this can make things awkward. Best friends is just a word. The way you are with each other is what counts.

It’s okay not to like this other girl as much as your best friend, but if they seem to like each other then it sounds important that you at least get along. This might take more effort than it would with someone who is a natural friend, but if it means everyone gets on better then it’s usually worth it. Maybe try and find something you have in common that you can talk about when you’re together.

If you want to get closer with your friend then maybe you can arrange to do things that you enjoy together, to remind her why you are friends in the first place.

I hope that helps, but do come and talk to one of our counsellors if you need to. You can call on 0800 1111, send an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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