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Hi Sam,
I'm 14 and I haven't had a boyfriend for over a year now but I do want one. Most of my close friends have boyfriends and are having sexual relationships. I've never done anything more than kiss a boy and wouldn't want to right now, i feel like i'm too young. My friends don't see that, I feel like I'm one of the only ones. And I feel like people will laugh at me if I don't do it soon. What do I do?
Hi there
Thank you for your letter. It sounds like youre feeling worried about being one of the only ones amongst your friends who isnt having a sexual relationship.
You say that you wouldnt want to right now and that you feel too young. It sounds like you know your own mind and what you do and dont feel comfortable with and thats great, you shouldnt feel pressured into doing anything that you dont want to. Theres also more to relationships than sex.
You say that you want a boyfriend and I wonder whether theres anyone in particular that you would want to be a in a relationship with. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else is in a relationship and it can take time for you to find someone that you do want to have a relationship with.
Its also important that you know that at 14 you are below the legal age of consent, which is 16. This means that legally speaking youd be too young to have a sexual relationship.
Theres also some more information on the ChildLine website about sex and relationships that you might like to take a look at.
Youve done really well to write to me about this and if youd like to talk to someone some more about things then youre welcome to speak to one of the counsellors at ChildLine. You can do this by calling 0800 1111 (all calls are free and dont show up on the bill) or by using the 1-2-1 chat on the website (it works a bit like MSN Messenger).
Take care
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.