Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Im 11 and i guess thats a bit young but my girlfriend R* is 13 and she has a massive porn addiction, im scared she will hook me on to it and i dont want to fall prey. Im scared that she wants to have sex with me because she wants me to commit
please help, i dont know what to do.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter. Addiction affects many people in different ways. It’s natural to feel worried about anybody who may be affected by an addiction.

Growing up and having relationships means that sometimes there are pressures you have to face. Sometimes one person can be ready to do something that the other is not and this is known as peer pressure. It’s not always easy to express this feeling to the other person because there can be a sense that it may damage the relationship in some way, or we worry what the other person may think or say.

It’s always important to understand your right to say no, and to never feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do. The law is there to protect you and this says that sex shouldn't be happening before the age of 16. It can take time to think about a sexual relationship and to plan how you both feel about contraception and safe sex.

Knowing what you want and what feels right for you is really important. If something doesn't feel right and you don’t want something to happen, this means it shouldn't be happening.

All porn is made for adults and some types of porn can be illegal  - so it’s important to think about how it makes you feel and how it can affect your relationship. Some porn can also be quite upsetting or confusing, especially when it shows something very different to how relationships really are.

Remember it’s always okay to talk about your feelings, and talk to people to learn more so you can make the right choice for you. Perhaps talking to a counsellor here at ChildLine would be a good place to start. Or you can talk to other young people on our message boards.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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