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To Sam

Abused by girlfriend I think

Hi Sam, I am a 13 year old guy who is very worried about his best friend. We've known each other since childhood, but a few months back, my best friend acquired a girlfriend, I'm happy for him, but when we met up one day to play football in the park, I saw a bruise under his eye, he said he walked into a door , however I'm not so sure. Because at school, his older brother who goes to the college near our school said "Nope that never happened." I think he was hit by the girlfriend. Please help. Also people should take note that males do though abusive relationships from females.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Nobody deserves to be hit. It's always wrong.

Your friend is telling you something different to what you think happened so it is important to find out the truth. It might be good for your best friend to think about whether there's an adult he feels could talk to - perhaps a teacher or a parent.

Both boys and girls can be in an abusive relationship. And if this is what's happening to your best friend, it's important that he understands that this is wrong. It can be difficult for people in situations like these. It's really good that he has you as a friend for support to talk to, and listen to him.

Often people in abusive relationships won't be able to see that they're in one, so it may mean that if you do bring it up with him you should prepare yourself for him to deny it. It’s also important to think about the possibility that your suspicions might be wrong as well. Try to be open to all possibilities while also making sure you're acting on what you think is best and safest for him.

If you’re worried about your friend, it’s also important that you look after yourself, too. It can be worrying to think they might be in trouble. There's some advice about helping a friend that you might find useful. The Disrespect Nobody website also has specific information on abuse in relationships. Remember, you can always talk to a counsellor about anything that's going on for you, too.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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