Ask Sam letter


To Sam


So me and my boyfirend kinda had unproected first-time sex and I'm late on my period. He did not cum inside and I dont think there was any pre-cum.
Can first-time sex delay periods?
I'm 14 almost 15. If i was pregnant would I need a guardian to have an abortion? I'm terrified of telling my parents and honestly I really don't want to. Would I have to pay for the abortion? if yes how much would it be?
Scared, nervous. Please help
Ask Sam



It sounds like you’re really worried that you might be pregnant, so well done for asking for help. You’ve told me that your boyfriend didn’t cum inside you, but there’s always a small risk of sperm getting into your vagina if you have unprotected sex. It sounds like your period might be late and there are various reasons why this can sometimes happen (e.g. stress, weight loss). However, having sex for the first time shouldn’t be a reason for your periods stopping, unless you become pregnant.

The best way to know whether or not you are pregnant is to do a test. I understand that can seem like a scary idea, but there is some really helpful information about doing a pregnancy test on the Brook website.

If you are pregnant, it’s important that you get some professional medical advice and support. Many young people put off speaking to a professional about sex and pregnancy, because they’re worried about other people finding out. At the age of 15, anything that you say to a doctor or nurse has to be kept confidential, unless they think you are at significant risk of harm. If you’re worried about visiting your doctor, you could visit your nearest sexual health clinic instead.

If you are pregnant and considering having an abortion, you would receive counselling and specialist advice before making a final decision. You can consent to an abortion without your parents being involved (in England, Scotland or Wales) as long as the doctor thinks you completely understand all the risks and implications of your choice. You also don’t have to pay for an abortion from the NHS. However, choosing to have an abortion is a big decision, and it’s important that you have some good support around you. It is likely that your doctor would try to encourage you to speak to your parents, or at least to tell another adult you trust, such as a grandparent or auntie.

Even if you’re not pregnant, it would be a really good idea for you and your boyfriend to get some advice from a doctor or sexual health clinic about contraception, so that you can limit the risk of unplanned pregnancy in the future. It’s also really important to protect yourselves against sexually transmitted infections.
I imagine that this could be quite a stressful time for you, so remember you can talk in confidence to a ChildLine counsellor on the phone (by calling 0800 1111) or if you prefer you can have log in for a 1-2-1 chat, or send an email.

I hope that this information has helped you to see a way through this difficult time.

Take care,


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