Ask Sam letter


To Sam

17 & pregnant

I'm 17 and just found out that I'm pregnant. I've had a serious conversation with my boyfriend about it, and because both of us disagree with abortions, the only other option is to have it. We know it's our fault that it has happened so we have to be responsible for it. But I'm in the middle of my A-levels and still want to continue at college to complete them. Do you think it would be possible or would it just be too much pressure ? And I'm actually terrified of telling my parents, they've always thought I'd go for a career after getting good grades, which was the plan up until now. But I don't think I could tell them face to face. What should I do?
Ask Sam



Thanks for your letter.

It is really good to hear that you and your boyfriend have had a serious discussion about the pregnancy and how you both want to continue with it. I can see you're not sure what will happen now you have made the decision and how to tell your parents. This is all completely understandable.

Only you will be able to decide if you want to carry on with your A-levels or if you think it will be too much pressure. It might be worth talking it through with your college though. They would be the best people to offer you some advice and support around your studies while pregnant. They will have experience with this so should be able to help you.

Every woman will react differently when pregnant - so you can focus on what is best for you and your baby throughout the pregnancy. If you do decide it is too much to study while pregnant, this doesn't mean that you won't be able to complete your A-Levels. You might just have to do them in the future, at a time that is more suitable for you.

Telling your parents can be a scary thought. I know that you said that they had hoped you would get good grades and go on to have career - if these are things that you want, then you can still achieve them.

Maybe you could think about what you would want to say to your parents and think about writing a letter to them explaining it. If you feel that you are unable to tell them face to face, maybe your boyfriend could help you with this. Your parents would probably want to talk to you about the pregnancy so that you can make plans to prepare for the baby.

There is another option that’s open to you if you didn’t want to have a child but also did not want to have an abortion. That is to give the baby up for adoption. This would be a big decision to make and something you should talk about first.

If you wanted to talk more about what is going on for you then you can always speak to one of our counsellors either on a 1-2-1 chat, calling for free on 0800 1111 or sending an email. There’s always someone here for you and we would like to help support you. We also have some information about pregnancy and adoption that could help you.

Take care,

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