Ask Sam letter


To Sam

:'( I need help urgently please

I hve just rest recently lost my baby , I was 17 weeks pregnant and I don't know how to deal with it please help me I can't eat or drink, I don't seem to want sex with my boyfriend no more and I keep crying
Ask Sam



Thank you for writing to me. I can hear that what has happened has had a strong impact on how you are feeling. Losing a baby has a physical effect on your body as well as an emotional impact on you and your hormones and it is understandable that you feel this way.

I’m concerned to hear that you are struggling to eat or drink. When our body doesn't get enough food and drink to allow it to function properly it can make us feel tired and down.  I know you have said you cannot do this but trying to eat might help you to feel a little better.  I cannot tell how much you need to eat or drink to be healthy but a medical professional like a doctor or nurse could.

If you feel ready and comfortable enough to speak to your doctor about this and about the way you are feeling, they may be able to recommend other support to you. Maybe you could think about whether there is anyone else who you trust who you could talk to about this and perhaps ask to go with you if you visit the doctor. 

Feeling uncomfortable about sex is a normal feeling after having a miscarriage and you always have the right to say no to sex. I’m wondering if you and your boyfriend have spoken much about what happened, and how you’re feeling now. It is possible that your boyfriend may also have strong feelings about what happened and if you do feel able to talk I think that may be a good idea. If you would like to talk more about how you are feeling you can talk to a ChildLine free on 0800 1111, have a 1-2-1 chat online or write an email to get a personal reply from a counsellor.

It sounds as though you may be grieving for your baby - the when someone dies page includes suggestions about how to cope with these feelings. If you look at the ChildLine message boards you can read messages from other young people who have experienced miscarriages and you could also post your own message for other people to reply to.

Thank you for deciding to write to me. Please remember ChildLine counsellors are there if you would like to talk more about any of the things I’ve mentioned.

Take care,


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