Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter, I can hear that you are really worried about your parents finding out about what you said and it seems like you are feeling under pressure from the police or social services to say more.

It would be difficult for me to say what the police or social services are going to do as that will be their decision. However it is important to remember that they are concerned about your safety and that of other young people, perhaps you could ask them what will happen next and tell them about your concerns. I can hear that you are worried about what your parents would be told and it can be hard when someone else is telling your story, as you don’t know what is being said - although from what you have said you do not know if that is going to happen or not.

You do not mention how you get along with your parents and I’m wondering how it would be for you to tell your parents yourself about what happened. That way you could tell them about what really happened in your own words and you can tell them at a time that feels right for you. Some young people like to talk to an adult they trust, sometimes outside their family circle. It is important to remember that you have done nothing wrong and Social Services are only involved because they want to protect you.

You tell me that you didn’t realise you were talking to a man online and when you are online it is important that you are safe. Part of being safe is only talking to people that you know and can trust, as it is easy for people to lie about who they are online. There is more about how to stay safe online on CEOP’s website and about how to report abuse.

I can hear that you didn’t send any pictures of yourself and that is good as it sounds like this person wasn’t who he seemed to be. I know that lots of young people like to share pictures online with their friends and family and that’s ok  but it is important to remember that once a picture is online there is no way of removing it and others can share it without you knowing. So only post, send or share pictures that you would feel comfortable with everyone seeing and with people you know and trust. If you are unsure you could always talk to a ChildLine counsellor about it and they will keep what you tell them confidential.

Take care,

Sam