Ask Sam letter


To Sam

sexual abuse?

hiya sam,

basically what happened was 2days ago i felt forced into doing ''stuff' with this boy. ive never really spoken to him, hes just a friend of a boy that ive done ''stuff'' with before. i never once said ever that i liked him or that i'd do anything with him. It wa after school he asked me over again and i kept repeating myself saying no,leave me alone man, im going home. all his friends were there they didnt do anything just like watched. he put all his weight on me and started dragging me to were noone was, not even his friends. he was asking again, i kept saying, like i dont what any of them lot have told you but ive never 1 time have i sed this is whats  gona happen. i was pushing my head and shoulders down and i fell over, i started to get up and then he pushed me down and forced himself in my mouth, he was like pushin my head so i couldnt get off?

since i have noticed a change in myself as im usally so happy, i havent cryed in years but last night i like bursted cause i dnt feel like anyone understands how i feel around me. ive spoken to friends who are very sympathic but its not the same as they dont properly understand, like its halfterm now, but even yesterday im like looking out the windows to see if i see him and i cart concentrate what so ever,

I'm 15 and i dont think he should be aloud to do that?

i just want some help deciding what to do, what are my options apart from talking to someone i feel like i can trust?

would it be classed as sexual abuse, or is that over top?



Ask Sam


Hello C,

I’m glad you’ve been brave enough to tell me what happened a few days ago. 

I want to answer the questions you’ve asked – is this sexual abuse and should he be allowed to do this? What he did is definitely sexual abuse and it’s against the law. From what you’ve told me, it would actually be classed as rape. If anyone suggests that saying this is “over the top” then they’re wrong. The law is very clear. No one should be forced to do something sexual if they don’t want to do.

It sounds like you’ve been feeling really anxious, lonely and miserable since this happened. Experiencing a sexual assault like this can leave people with all kinds of mixed feelings, and there’s no 'right' or 'wrong' way to feel. It sounds like you’ve spoken to some friends about what happened, but you don’t feel like they really understand how this has left you feeling.

You may know it’s your right under the law to report sexual abuse to the police. I know that can seem like a very big step to take and it absolutely has to be your decision. Only you will know what is right for you. One thing the ChildLine counsellors could do is help you think about what it might be like to talk to the police and who might be able to support you with that. If the boy who did this attends your school, one option would be to let someone at school know, perhaps by talking to a teacher in private. You might also want to think about telling a parent, or family member, maybe by writing it all down for them.

Another thing you could look into is getting some support from one of the organisations who specialise in supporting people after they have been sexually assaulted. Rape Crisis and Victim Support could both offer you some advice, even if you don’t want to speak to the Police. Right now, thinking about all of these options might seem a bit overwhelming and I always like to point out there is no 'right' or 'wrong' thing to do.

Our ChildLine counsellors are always here to support you. You can phone them for free on 0800 1111 or have a 1-2-1 chat online (like instant messenger). For more information and advice, you might find it helpful to look at the rape and sexual assault page. You could also take a look at the message boards about sexual abuse where other young people post messages to support each other.

I don’t want you to feel unheard and alone with this. ChildLine is here to help you in whatever way you think would be best.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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