Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

It's not okay for anyone to bully you. It sounds really stressful and upsetting to have people put pressure on you to bully others so that you don't get bullied yourself. It’s understandable that you want to move schools because of how difficult things are for you there.

It sounds like you’re in a really tough position. Because you would like to move schools but you’re also really certain that you don’t want to tell anyone your reason - that you’re being bullied. This will make it really difficult for anyone to understand why you want to make changes. It can be hard not telling anyone and sometimes this leads to us feeling pressure which can makes us feel sad or angry.

If someone doesn’t want to be your friend or starts to bully you because you won’t do what they ask, they are not a true friend. Your friends should respect you and not make you feel uncomfortable. You have the right to tell your friends that you don’t want to do something and let them know that you don’t have to do what they want you to do without being rude. This is called being assertive. 

Being assertive means that you can express yourself clearly and explain what you want to happen without being rude or aggressive. This can help you to stand up for yourself and still treat others with respect.  It can be hard to learn how to be assertive and it may take a bit of practice. 

Telling your mum doesn’t feel like an option right now and it can be difficult when we are not ready or able to share things like this with those close to us. But you don’t have to go through bullying alone.  Perhaps you could think about these options and talk through your thoughts and feelings with a ChildLine counsellor.  Whatever you decide, it’s important that you know that it is never okay for someone to bully you. 

You could also look at our message boards and talk to other young people about their experiences of bullying. 

Take care,
Sam