Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Racict Cyber bullying

I have started secondary school recently and also I made a facebook account a few months ago. Well, theres this boy who pushes me and my friend. One day he walked past and stole my bag (this is in school) and ran. Me and my friends had to chase him until he threw it on the floor. He added me on facebook and i accepted -not realising the consequences- then he messaged me that he liked my friend. I have this other friend who likes him so I told him and he thought he meant me! Later I said "did you really think I liked you?" his responce was " f*** off you paki b*st*rd " For a start I am not from Pakistan, I was born in England and am black. I really don't know what to do because I don't want to tell my mum and I have school in a few days! Please help!
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me about what’s been happening. 

You sound as though you’ve been going through a really tough time and it’s good that you feel able to talk about this. You mentioned that this boy has been pushing you and your friend, stealing your things and calling you names. This isn’t okay and it sounds like bullying. It’s not your fault he’s acting like this. It’s wrong that this boy used the words he did. 

It isn’t alright for somebody to make offensive comments about a person’s ethnic origin. This means it's wrong to be nasty to someone because of their race or culture. When someone speaks about your ethnic origin in a negative way, it can be classed as racial abuse and this is against the law. This includes when somebody makes a negative comment about a different ethnic origin to yours. Everyone has the right to be respected.

You have told me that you do not want to tell your mum. But if you feel as though you’d like to get some support for the way he’s behaving towards you, it can be a good idea to let a teacher at school know about what’s happening. Schools have a responsibility to help make bullying stop. If you don’t feel sure about speaking to a teacher yet, it can help to start keeping a record of things that are happening with the boy. This means that when you feel ready, you can show it to someone. When you go to speak to a teacher, it can sometimes help to have someone else with you for moral support. Maybe you and your friend could go together to let a teacher know about it?

You’re clearly going through a lot right now and if you want to talk about it some more, remember that you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You could take a look at the racism page in the Explore section for more information and advice about racism. You could also take a look at the racism message board where you can get support from other young people who have been in a similar position to you. They can help you think about what you’d like to do.

You’ve done well to tell me about this and I really hope you get the help you need to keep you safe from bullying.

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter