Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hi M,
Thank you for writing to me.
It sounds like youre in a really tricky situation. Your dad reading through everything on your phone is a real invasion of your privacy. I can hear that you are feeling violated, especially as this is something he promised not to do.
It is really difficult to say who is right and wrong in a situation like this. Sometimes adults dont know how to talk to young people and ask what is going on in their lives. This can mean they end up looking through emails and messages instead. As a parent they might need to do this to make sure you are safe in some situations. It can be very hurtful and lead to arguments and rows when they do this though. I can see why you feel like he has violated your privacy.
It could be worth talking to your dad or a trusted adult about how this has made you feel. Perhaps you could come up with an agreement about your privacy and what things you feel comfortable sharing with him. It sounds like in this case he hasnt tried talking to you and hasnt asked you about his concerns first, which would have shown more trust in you.
Having open and honest relationships with important people in your life can be really positive and help develop trust, but it can be difficult to know where to start. You might find our new page on talking to adults helpful.
You might also find it helpful to chat to one of the counsellors here about your privacy. You could tell them a bit more about your relationship with your dad and the sort of thing hes read that has made him react badly.
The counsellors will never judge you - they are there to listen to you and to support you. You could speak to a counsellor by phoning free on 0800 1111 or by having a 1-2-1 chat. You could also check out the message boards and see how other young people have dealt with similar situations or even start a new thread about your experiences.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.