Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

please help m e

I being bullied at skwl and through my pone and I ty getting help from my mum and she does but then she tells me wht 2 say but wen I do something wrong and upset my friends she shouts and we het phone calls from their mums aand I lock myself in my room I dont know what 2 do I have a  break down
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for your email. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time right now. Being bullied can have a big impact on how you feel about yourself and about life in general, so you are doing the right thing by reaching out for support and talking about what’s happening.

It is never okay for anyone to bully you and it is not your fault that this is happening to you. Whether the bullying is face-to-face, over the phone or online - it is not okay. You don’t say what’s happening when you’re being bullied but it might be a good idea for you to talk to a ChildLine counsellor about this. Sometimes telling someone who doesn’t know you, like your mum does, can really help you to get your head around what’s happening to you. 

You said that you talk to your mum about the bullying and she tries to help by telling you what to say to the bullies. I’m wondering how helpful that is for you as it sounds like you feel your mum might then shout at you for saying the wrong things to friends.  Lots of parents really want to help their children if they are being bullied but don’t know how. Again that’s why it might be a good idea for you to talk to someone else like a ChildLine counsellor.

You have also told me that when you have upset your friends and their mum’s call your mum, you lock yourself in your room and you don’t know what to do. It sounds like this really upsets you and you don’t know how to react. Perhaps you could tell your mum how you are really feeling when this happens. Then you and your mum could talk through some ideas around how to talk through what’s happened rather than shouting and having a break down if it happens again. A lot of people can find talking to a parent or another trusted adult really helpful.

You have been really brave writing this letter to me and I can hear that there might be some other things or questions you want to say. I would encourage you to contact a counsellor at ChildLine to talk some more. You can do this either through 1-2-1 chat, by phoning for free on 0800 1111 or sending an email. 

Take good care of yourself,

Sam  

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