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To Sam


Dear  Sam I get worried at this time of year because it all ways causes more arguments  with my parents also my nan has just died  so my mum is not very cheerful at the moment I understand this but my dad has  a history with gambling money and a little violence aggression  but that's in  the past  I heard them arguing When they thought I was asleep  I think something broke I heard it crash on the floor  if I tell them they would just say I'm just a kid I don't understand  but it gets me reay worried and I don't know what to do
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Parents having arguments from time to time is normal, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to watch or be around. It’s never okay for parents to get violent with each other. If they do, it can have an effect on you as well, even if they’re not hurting you directly.

When times are especially tough, like when someone in the family dies, it can sometimes make arguments more likely. People are stressed and emotions are strong. This can lead to people saying and doing things that they wouldn’t normally do.

The only people responsible for your parents' relationship are themselves, but it does affect you as well and you’re entitled to have your say. I think it would be okay to tell them their arguments upset you. Whether you understand or not doesn’t change the fact that you're upset by it. You aren’t to blame for feeling this way. It’s always okay to talk about how you really feel.

You might find it easier to talk to one of them at a time. This way there’s no chance of an argument happening between them. It might also be good to let them know how you feel about them and how you’re thinking of them. You’re very aware of how your mum might be feeling about her own mum dying. It might be good to tell her this.

I hope that helps you, but you can always talk to a counsellor about this, especially if things get worse or violent.

Take care,

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