Hi sam, so basically i thought i would just talk to you about what is happening and get your view in it. so im a girl who's 16 and I try to avoid my aunti's partner as much as possible. Whenever i am with him he makes me feel very uncomfortble. He always asks if i have a boyfriend, but he asks it whilst sitting very close to me and gazing into my eyes. He then goes on to say how beautiful i am and that any one would be lucky to have me. Also aside the conversations with him he also kisses me to friendly and hugs me to meaningfully. It makes be feel wierd. He always goes in for a kiss on the lips and i try turning my head to avoid it. He also touches me sometimes. He puts his hands on my bum when people arnt looking and places his hands on my hips when he is talking to me. Its not just me he does this to, he does it to most women he gets in contact with so i dont know what to think. I just find it too much and feel he is always wanting me to be alone with him. is it wrong sam? or am i just overreacting? helpx thanks x
Sam
Hi there,
Its not okay for someone to make you feel uncomfortable in the way you've described. It's wrong for someone to do things like make inappropriate comments, touch you, look at you or invade your space generally.
You say he behaves this way with most women he comes into contact with. And it seems like this is making you question whether youre overreacting. I want you to know that its not okay for anyone, male or female, to do this with anyone else, without the person agreeing. Even if some people think its okay or dont say anything, personal space is an important barrier for many people.
From what youve told me its not clear if anyone else has noticed what your aunties partner is doing. It could help to talk to someone in your family. Some people find the best person to trust might be someone outside their family. Talking to a teacher or a ChildLine counsellor can help you get some support for what's happening and the way its making you feel.
In an ideal world it would be best if you could keep away from this man and definitely not to be alone with him. But I know this is very difficult if its someone in the family. You might want to try moving away when he approaches you, leaving the room if you find yourself alone in a room with him. Try being assertive and firm about the responses you give to him. You might want to avoid eye contact too, as sometimes this can give encouragement or an opportunity to take advantage of you. This might be difficult to do in practice in your normally family setting, but its something to always have in mind.
If you want to talk to us about how this is making you feel, were here to support you.
Take care for now, Sam
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