Hi T****,
Thanks for your letter. Whether its because of somebodys appearance, what they enjoy or even their name, nobody ever deserves to be bullied. It sounds like you did a lot to keep going and I can sense how worried you are about year 8. Im glad that youve had the courage to talk about it.
Ending a school year can bring up lots of feelings when youve been bullied. It can sometimes leave you feeling relieved but at the same time it can also bring up lots of feelings of anxiety of having to go back next year.
It sounds like your new class feels quite scary in case the new teachers say your full name. Its important to remember that part of a school's responsibility to you is helping to make sure youre supported when youre being bullied. The school have a responsibility to try to make any bullying stop.
It might help over the summer holidays to think about what it would be like to talk to the teachers about how it affects you when they say your name. You could even think about talking to the teacher before your name is first called out when you go back.
I got the sense from your letter that above everything you dont want anyone to find out your name. You said that you dont want your friends to know and how embarrassing it is for you. It is understandable when youve had bad reactions before that it would be scary imagining what they might think.
It's okay to not want to share every part of yourself. The biggest risk of doing that with your name, though, is that your name isnt going anywhere. When youre thinking about how to hide your name it can really help to think about how youd most like to come across if anyone did learn your name.
Its never okay for someone to judge you by your name. Someone else judging you by it says much more about that person than it does about you.
Being able to feel comfortable and confident about your name can help to make it easier to think how to react if someone says anything negative. It can even make it less scary when youre thinking about how people like your friends might react.
Having that kind of confidence isnt easy and it can take time. This page on Being assertive that might be a good place to start, as well as this one on Building confidence and self-esteem. As well as that, it might help to think about telling one friend who you really trust to help build your confidence. Remember that your friends arent friends with you because of your name.
Lastly you might find it really helpful to speak to other young people on the message boards. Everything on there is anonymous so you cant give personal details like your name, but you could ask what different young people do when theyre embarrassed or being bullied about a part of themselves.
If you need to talk further, remember you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can call for free on 0800 1111, log on for a 1-2-1 chat or send an email.
Take care,
Sam
