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To Sam

My mum and her boyfriends are abusive to me and her

Hi Sam , i'm a 14 year old boy and ever since i can remember my mum would fight with her husband my dad and he got arested in front of my eyes and there were other times where my mum would wake me up at 1in the morning after they had been drinking the whole night and she would take me and leave the house and we would stay in a hotel for a few days and this happened maybe 2-3 times a week and then my parents spilt up when i was 7 or 8 i can't remember and every boyfriend she had since has been abusive and has hit me and one boyfriend threatened her and ordered her to have sex i was behind them when he did it and they didn't know i was there and my dad has had nothing to do with ever since then and ive been in foster care before and i'm thinking about going back there. I would be very greatful for any help. Thanks
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message – I was really glad you decided to get in touch with me because it sounds like things have been really tough for you at home for some time now.

It’s never okay for anyone to hurt you or someone you love and I can hear how difficult that has been for you to see, and go through. When things like that happen at home the most important thing is to keep yourself safe and to look after your own feelings.  Sometimes we can forget about looking after ourselves when someone we care about is in danger or being hurt.

You’ve said you’re thinking about going back into foster care and I can hear how big a decision this would be for you. You have a right to live in a home which is safe and this might mean going into foster care or leaving where you live at the moment - but there might also be other options to look at, such as whether there are any other members of your family you would be happy to live with.

ChildLine is always there for you too – whether you want to talk about things happening now or things from the past that you feel you need to share with someone. The ChildLine counsellors would also be happy to talk about what you feel is going to be the best way of changing things at home for you.

There are also some other really good organisations you might find helpful. The Hideout is a place where you can go to learn more about keeping yourself safe when people you love are being hurt and you can hear about other people who may have gone through similar things in their own lives. You can also do this on the ChildLine message boards.

ChildLine has counsellors standing by to take your call right now – you can do that by calling them for free on 0800 1111. It sounds important that people at home don’t know you’ve got in touch with us so you should know that calls to ChildLine don’t show up on phone bills. Remember you can also chat online or send a counsellor an e-mail too.

I hope this has helped, just remember that you’re not alone and that there’s nothing too big or too small to talk to ChildLine about.

Take care.


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