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To Sam

My friends stalker

My friend dated this guy about a year ago and he's still completely obsessed with her and she feels unsafe. She has told him to leave her alone and has been threatening her countless times saying that he's gonna kill her and stuff like that. She feels extremely unsafe until the point when he started stalking her home and calling her a b***h. She's really upset and doesn't know what to do. Could you please give me some advice on what to do,

Much apreciated

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It's against the law to harass, threaten and stalk someone. The police are the best people to talk to as they have the power to stop this person from bothering your friend. Sometimes people think that telling the police won't do anything but it's their job to keep you safe.

If someone follows you, sends lots of messages or calls you a lot even when you've asked them to stop, this is stalking and harassment. Threats to kill or hurt you are even more serious but both are against the law. If you feel someone is stalking you, it's important to tell other people so that they are aware and can help make sure you're safe. Tell people what time you will be home and to keep checking in with you if they haven't heard from you for a while.

The best thing to do is to encourage your friend to tell the police what's happening. First they should try and keep a record of what's happened - when and where they saw this person, and what the stalker said to them or did. It's important to write down everything - the time and date, what they were wearing etc. Your friend should save any messages, and a record of their call history. You can then take all of this with you to the police. Get advice on helping a friend.

There are two ways to get in touch with the police when it's not an immediate emergency. The first is to go to your local police station and say you'd like to make a report. The postcode search tool on the police website can help you find your local police station. The second is to call 101. This is a non-emergency number that will connect you to your local police to report something that is not an emergency.

If you ever do feel in danger, threatened or under attack then you can call 999 and get immediate help. And remember you can get support from one of our counsellors at any time.

Thanks for sending this letter.

Take care.


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