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To Sam

My freind

hi sam,

my friend has been having on going problems with herself and bullies, it's worrying me how effected she is and i think she may do something she regrets.

I have given her advise to see someone or to come here but she wont.

what do i do to help her?

L

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there L,

It sounds like you’re really worried about your friend and the problems she is having. I’m glad you got in touch as I know that bullying can be really difficult sometimes.

It’s important to remember that bullying is always wrong whatever form it takes, either it being name calling, online bullying or hurting someone physically. There are some different things you could suggest to your friend that might help.

I know that it can sometimes be really hard to do but the best way to stop bullying is to tell someone, maybe a teacher or a parent. When telling someone, it's important not just to say what happens but how you’re feeling about it and what your worries are, like thinking it might get worse. Sadly telling doesn’t always work the first time, so if the bullying continues your friend might need to keep telling until things change for the better.

If the bullying happens at school you can ask to see the school anti-bullying policy. This is a document that every school has to have by law. You can ask to see it and see if the school are doing what they say they will do to stop bullying.

If your friend does decide to tell it can be good to have some proof. Asking a friend to go with her is one way, another is to make a bullying diary, so she can show people what happened and when. Other proof might be to keep any text messages or emails that are bullying so she can show people what has happened.

Bullying UK have lots of information that you and your friend might like to look over. There is also lots of information about bullying in Explore and you could also look at the bullying message board. This is a place where young people can support each other and you or your friend can leave a message if you like.

You've done really well to try to support your friend, but sometimes supporting someone can have an effect on us too. You would both be welcome to talk to a ChildLine counsellor about what is going on. A counsellor will want to support you and you can get in touch with them by calling 0800 1111, send an email to a counsellor or have a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Sam

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