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To Sam

my brother beats me

My brother whos 16 beats me its very sore it leaves bruises and when my mum tried to stop him he hits her too we cant handle him anymore where can I get help
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter, you’ve been very brave to tell me what life is like for you. I’m very pleased that you’ve asked me where to get some help. This is a really positive move forward.

What your brother is doing is known as physical abuse. Physical abuse is always wrong and should not be happening to you. It’s not your fault. You have done nothing wrong and it’s important that it stops. To learn more about your rights and being safe, you could look at the explore page on physical abuse.

I can hear that you’re also worried about mum, and all this stress feels like a big responsibility for one person. Everybody needs some extra support from time to time. You say you can’t handle your brother anymore and it’s ok for you and mum to ask for some help. You shouldn’t have to cope with being hurt at home and there is help available for you.

From your message it sounds like you’re left with injuries when your brother beats you and this is concerning. Both you and mum have the legal right to be safe at home. Perhaps you could talk to mum about the bruises and how sore you are and ask her to support you to see a doctor; who can help you with your injuries and also advise you on what support is available for you as a family. This could mean your brother getting some anger management or the support you feel is right for you as a family.

There’s also an organisation called social services who work with families who need extra support. You and mum could refer yourselves to social services directly to ask for help. Alternatively, your doctor could put you in touch with them, or this could also be arranged by talking to a teacher at school. Teachers are not just responsible for your learning, they also have a duty of care for your safety and wellbeing at home. It may be that a teacher could also refer you to someone such as a school nurse or a school counsellor, who could give you some emotional support.

You also always have the option of calling 999 if your brother threatens to beat you. Physical abuse is against the law and you are protected by the law. You are important and you matter.

Remember that you would be welcome to come through for a chat with one of the ChildLine counsellors. They can explore these feelings with you in more detail and get the help and support you deserve.

Take care and stay safe.


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