Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my bestfriend is being bullied

Hi... My bestfriend is getting bullied in school. I am so tempted to call the police on the bullies because I know the school won't do much. My best friend has depression and self harms herself and I'm trying to get her to stop. She has been afraid to go back to school in September because she knows she will go to her school and get beat up on the first day. I am getting worried about her and I don't know if calling the police is a good idea. I have told my bestfriend about calling the police and she said she wants to wait until it gets worse. The thing is my bestfriend is punched by guys, get called fat ugly and stupid ect. She gets dragged down the stairs, food thrown at her and she only has about 4 friends in school. The hardest part of her being bullied is that we go to seperate schools and I won't be able to help her at lunch and break. What should I do Sam?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

When someone gets bullied it can affect them in lots of different ways. From what you have said your friend is already coping with depression and she self-harms, so the bullying could be making this worse for her. It is great that she has a friend like you to support her, though, as facing something like this alone could be really frightening.

The bullying you describe sounds very serious. Your friend is being physically hurt as well as called hurtful names. Nobody deserves to be treated this way and what the bullies are doing is wrong, so it is understandable you are concerned about your friend.

I understand your friend doesn’t want to go to the police – she might be worried about telling someone. The police are there to help in situations where people aren’t safe. There are other people who can help your friend too. The school will have an anti-bullying policy and it sounds like it is happening whilst she is there, so telling a teacher would be an important step for your friend.

Whilst it is okay to go to the police, it’s usually a good idea to give your school a chance to fix the problem themselves first. Maybe you both could have a think about who she could tell, like a favourite teacher, and together you could write down all the things that have happened and what your friend would like to say to the teacher.

Over the holidays, your friend could also think about telling a trusted adult, so someone she lives with or someone she’s close to who could help her in getting some support.

Having good friends is important, especially if someone is being bullied like this. You’ve been very supportive by writing to me on behalf of your friend. You can read more about helping a friend here.

It will take a lot of courage for your friend to speak to someone. Maybe she can have a think over the holidays to help her decide what she would like to do.

In the meantime, if you or your friend would like to speak to a counsellor to get more support with this or anything else then our counsellors are here for you.

Take care,

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