Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My abuse

My name is N* and I get beatend by my parents sometimes I get hit really hard. Like for example the other day I asked my mom for some food to bring to school and she said i don't have nothing that's too f*****g bad you have to eat whatever you f******g b***ch and the she smacked me very hard and punched me in the arms she also hit me very hard in the head!! I've been abused since 5 years old by both my parents beat me for  every little thing they would treat me bad. I am sick of this can you help I also don't want to call the police because my parents said if you called the cops they would be glad that the social workers take me away and they would say your only going to get abused even harder somewhere else😔😞😭😰😥
Ask Sam


Hi N*,

Thanks for your letter about what's happening at home with your parents. It must have taken a lot of courage to explain it and I’m pleased you decided to tell me.

I am very concerned to hear how you are being treated by your parents. It's not okay for your parents to beat and hit you or speak to you like this. Nobody has the right to hurt you like this. Maybe you could have a read of our abuse and safety pages.

You don’t tell me how old you are but it sounds like this has been going on for some time as it started when you were aged 5. I want to tell you that there are people who can help you to get it stopped.

You say that you don’t want to contact the police because your parents have told you that this will mean you are taken away by social workers and be abused more somewhere else. It could be that your parents have told you this as another way of controlling or trying to frighten you, so that you don’t tell anyone what they are doing. They may know that what they are doing is wrong.

You say that you are sick of the way things are at home and it feels like you want it to stop. Your parents seem to be telling you that if you try to get help that you will always be abused. This is not true. It is up to you if you want to make contact with social services. You can do this by phoning the police, talking to an adult at school or  asking ChildLine to contact them for you. You could also speak to them yourself by contacting your local social services department. ChildLine can explain more about how to do this.

If you did get social services involved, they might want to talk to you about your home situation. I can't say for sure what would happen but I do know some young people have told me that they could visit you at school, if you would prefer to see them there. They might also want to speak to other people involved about things and then they would decide what the best way is to keep you safe.

Social services can take action if they believe a child or young person is at risk or unsafe. There are a number of things they can do to help. I know it sounds like a big step but you have already taken an important first step by writing this letter to me. There are specific rules about how children in care are treated and things are monitored so it’s not true that if you went into care you would be abused harder than you are at home. We have more information about living in care.

If you do decide to tell someone it is really important that you tell them as much as you can and that you are honest about what has happened. It's also important that you don't protect or lie for the people who have been hurting you. You have the right to feel safe and you deserve to be supported.

Making a decision to tell someone about your parents abusing you can be a difficult step to take and it’s important that you think it all through carefully before you tell anyone. If you would like to talk more about it, you could talk to a ChildLine counsellor, either by phoning them on 0800 1111, or by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. It is confidential and you can contact ChildLine at any time.

You could also have a look at the ChildLine message boards where young people share their experiences in safety. Some people also talk about ways that they have found to get help in situations like yours.

Take care for now,

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