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To Sam


i am experiencing a hard time living at hom with my mom ever since she was caught cheating on my dad with another man. i was just 7 years old when i sat on the top of the stairs watching my mom give my dad 2 black eyes and a broken nose. my mom and dad are goibg to court in february after 4 or 5 years of being apart but they still arnt divorced. I ring my dad every night to tell him i love and miss him as i only see him for 2 days every 10 days. I just had another argument with my mom and she dragged me to thr floor , pulled my hair and punched me in the ribs. I instantly called my dad for help and she slapped me when she saw i was on the phone to him and she threw my phone down the stairs which lead my 18 year old sister to cry. i tried to call the police but my mom wouldnt let me. i was crying and screaming for help and i still am crying. she told me she wanted me to die so i automatically told her to go to hell. I have tried to tell a teacher at school but i am worried my mom will loose her job. Only my dad and my sister understand how i feel as it has happened to them aswell. Today i wanted to die. I leaned over the window upstairs and i stopped myself by the sounds of my sister screaming at me to stop. I feel like i am only loved by my dad as my mom is in her own little world with her partner that she cheated on my dad with and their 3 year old son. I dont know what to do , please help me.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Family relationships can be really difficult for young people, especially when they experience emotional or physical abuse. It's also really hard for them if they see or hear domestic violence happening between parents, carers or other family members.

Witnessing domestic violence between your mum and dad when you were 7 years old will have been emotionally upsetting for you, even if you weren’t the one being physically hurt. It sounds as though your parents’ separation has also been tough, especially as this has meant seeing your dad less than you would like.

I’m really concerned about the recent physical abuse by your mum. I want you to know that it’s wrong for your mum, or anybody else, to hurt you in this way. It sounds like this incident left you feeling extremely distressed and you say you've been feeling suicidal. If you ever feel suicidal again or if you’re worried about your own safety or your mum’s three year old son you can get immediate help by calling 999. You did the right thing when you tried to get help from your dad and the police even though your mum stopped you.

I understand that you’re worried about getting your mum into trouble, but you have a right to be happy and safe at home. It’s okay to get help for what is happening. Talking to a trusted adult such as your dad, sister, teacher, social worker or ChildLine counsellor could really help you. One of the things you could talk about is how to work out a safety plan if you are ever hurt, feeling unsafe or suicidal. Remember, if you need medical help for any injuries, you can see a doctor without telling your mum or anybody else.

Take care,

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